Hop aboard, ladies and gentlemen, for the Knowsley bus is waiting to bore you out of your skulls! There I am, on time at the Training and Conference Center, and I don't know what room to go in. The woman on reception said the Cronton Suite, and I'd been there before, but it's full of people older than I - surely I'm not in there. Wrong. I sit for an excrutiatingly long time, hoping Sally and Steve will show, as I don't want to go bussing it with all these unfamiliar faces. Thankfully, they show up - shame it's only three of us from the scheme, I was under the impression there would be more. Anyway, on with the show! First, a snazzy PowerPoint presentation (sarcastic much?) on everything about the Council - fun. Next, the new chief executive says a few words, which was rather interesting - unlike the next person who spoke, who couldn't even be bothered to stand up and talk to us. After a lengthy Q&A we dash off for a break and meet up with Steph, and we unloaded our problems onto her. Shame - glad to see she's okay though. Get back late for the bus though, and we're whisked through non-stop roadworks to a school. No kiddies, yet - but my Lord it was awful. A myriad of corridors, dilapidated structures - I feared for my life. Lovely plastic chairs awaited us as we sat through an informative presentation about Knowsley wardens - they're a good idea, methinks. Back on the coach and we're off to Kirkby (thankfully I wasn't sitting next to a window), and I while away the minutes chatting to Steve.
Before we knew what we were in for, oh no - little demons! They're, they're everywhere, and on the one day I forget to carry my electrified cattle prod! God the tour here was boring - I think he was a headmaster, someone official anyway, and he droned on so much! I had to amuse myself by looking at the tiny chairs, sniffing out the little brats and thinking of what rude words I could make on the interactive whiteboard. Why on earth didn't we have them in my day? They're so cool! Oh look, now we're going into a chapel! I'm sorry - this is not a chapel - it's crap. A table? No, make them appreciate God's cold floor! And that woman is so scary - she speaks with a posh voice, yet is dressed in a manky old purple t-shirt and trainers. You just know that when we leave she'll turn back into a right hard-arse. Lunch was atrocious too, it was a fend-for-yourself nibbles type of affair, whilst sitting in a circle hearing more about schools. Whoopee. What's that? We're leaving? Hurrah! Oh dear, we're staying in Kirkby, this time going to their One Stop Shop. It's impressive - much more spacious than the Huyton one, with a water feature! And comfy seats! After fascinating stories about robbed plasma screens and a tour of the boiling call - sorry, 'contact' center, we're back on ze bus. We get stuck trying to get out of the car park, and this is the high point of the day!
Off to Huyton again (why we didn't do Kirkby first, then all the Huyton stuff second I'll never know) and we visited a little bungalow next to where Steve works. It's a place for young kids who look after their disabled family members, and if I hadn't been on this tour I probably wouldn't have ever knew it happened. It got VERY warm again though, and it started my cough off - oh the shame! If only I hadn't left my drink back at the training center! Wooshed over to Huyton Library, right next to my work, and we have refreshments in a very nice conference room. Joked some more with Steve - what an alright chap he is. A tour of the library commences - my LOCAL library - so the only thing I enjoyed was the fact that we could all go looking round at the films and games you can rent. Back where we started, and by some miracle my drink is still there, we are given an evaluation to fill out. Once finished, we were set free back into civilisation, lost and bewildered from the information overload we had just witnessed. I walked with Sally till she arrived home, and found out that one of the positions she was applying for was given to Steve! What a small world!
The rest of the day was uneventful. You could say that about what I've already written, but I wanted to convey the experience I had to go through. I could've typed so much more, but I'm not THAT sadistic!
Until then - don't forget your electrified cattle prod.
No comments:
Post a Comment